Misgivings about self-compassion
Many people find that they are much kinder to others than they are to themselves. One of the obstacles to developing self-compassion is doubting its efficacy. These doubts are often founded on well-intended fears about being selfish or indulgent —and it’s useful to discern for ourselves whether we are choosing to be hard on ourselves for some useful purpose or whether we’re actually caught up in a habitual pattern of self-criticism.
Here are some of the common misgivings:
—Self-compassion is a pity-party
Self-compassion doesn’t mean we over-exaggerate our suffering and dissolve into a woeful mess. Mindfulness —the ability to let go of thinking and shift our attention to something present like the breath, physical sensations or the world around us— is a key component of self-compassion. Research shows that self-compassionate people are more likely to entertain a variety of perspectives rather than focus on their own distress (1) and are less likely to ruminate (2).